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Give Me Some Headline, Baby

While TDW is on vacation, she invites you to play one of her favorite games: headline mania. It’s fun. It’s easy. And you can play as many times per day as the Star updates its website with new stories.

Here’s what you do: Go to the Star website and read the headlines out loud. Make a sarcastic comment about a headline. Or just giggle about the vagueness of something written by a copy editor at midnight.

For example: “Man gets year for terror claims.” What does this mean, exactly? Did someone somewhere – the Almighty, perhaps – actually come down and give this man an extra year of life?  Or, playing off the word “claims,” can we assume that it was sort of a pawn shop arrangement, and this guy brought in his terror claims in exchange for a year of something cool.

There’s no point to this game. No rules, either. It’s just another way to pass the minutes of a boring day by making fun of others.

Which is pretty much what keeps TDW going.


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ACTUAL HEADLINE: Supreme Court splits on display of Ten Commandments

MY INTERPRETATION: First Five Commandments OK, but Second Tablet must be Removed.

ACTUAL HEADLINE: Waiting to Inhale

MY INTERPRETATION: Following the politically charged "I didn't inhale" comment from a few election cycles ago, this next step suggests that truly abstinence is the best policy.

I have it on good authority that TDW is no longer on vacation, so why is she falling down on taking down words? Could it be the fog of . . . love, a wedding to plan? Hey keep on task woman!

Aren't her posts about as frequent as when she isn't on vacay?

I haven't seen her around the downtown Y, but that doesn't prove anything of course.

Sheesh, guys. I'm just getting back into the swing of things. As for the wedding, no comment. Y'all are going to blow this anonymity thing straight out of the water.

Posts today. I promise.

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