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Open Thread: I'm Gonna Drive Over Hills, Over Mountains And Canyons

Fish TDW has a busy little Saturday planned, so you're on your own for a little while.

If you have time, pick up your clothes and empty the dishwasher before the blogmistress gets back.

Oh, and as always, play nicely.


A Day in the Life of Joe Conservative*
by Anonymous

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to ensure their safety and that they work as advertised.

All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance -- now Joe gets it, too.

He prepares his morning breakfast: bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.

Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for the laws to stop industries from polluting our air.

He walks on the government-provided sidewalk to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe's employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union.

If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment checks because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

It is noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime. Joe also forgets that in addition to his federally subsidized student loans, he attended a state funded university.

Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards to go along with the taxpayer funded roads.

He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans.

The house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.

He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved conservatives have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day. Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have."

Mitch should have gone to the David Letterman ceremony at Ball State. What was the little fella doing?

Check out AI's story on Brizzi's total failure of the juvenile case he used the media for right before the election. ANY moron knows you at least get a sworn statement from the victim. If you cant get even one, maybe putting this case in the news was not such a good thing (unless you'r trying to use the media to get relected).

The biggest insult is Brizzi trying to say his use of the media and this failed case was the sole cause of changes at the jail. THat was driven by a federal investigation by the DOJ and brizzi had not a thing to do with it. What a loser to try to take credit

He's something else. He's also done politically

Honestly, who DOESN'T use the media to get elected (or "relected" as the case may be)? AI was recently ranting on about how the media doesn't or won't advance Ballard, presuming that it is the media's job to do that. Can't have it both ways.

Another tempest in a teapot.

Yawn - you have apoint. But this mess is more than about using the media. It's about incompetence in a key office.

"Mitch should have gone to the David Letterman ceremony at Ball State. What was the little fella doing?"

Duh...working...Is Letterman more important than Indiana jobs or foreign trade?
If you would keep up on current events then you would have known that the Gov. is in China working on trade deals. You Mitch hating lib’s probably think Letterman is more important than Indiana jobs or trade...figures.

And we're all going to be sooooo thrilled with those high-paying -NOT - jobs that we might or might not get from the guv's playtime in Asia.

God bless the Governor! I'm so glad that he's giving up his personal time because he puts the interests of the state of Indiana above all else. Tirelessly working on our behalf, he give no thought to his own needs and wants because he's so committed to the average Hoosier. What a wonderful guy, what a saint! He only thinks of what is best for the people of Indiana with no thought of what his actions will do for his future career.

6:59 said with his or her tongue firmly planted in cheek!

3:37: numbnuts, he's in Japan. Check you current events!

Ha ha ha ha...right on 7:09!! 3:37pm might want to try to find his way out of that wet paper bag he's playing in and discover what foreign country's eyes the guv is trying to pull the wool over.

And maybe he can go to the airport and welcome all those jobs coming off the airplane from Japan. God knows the guv can do anything about saving, much less creating, jobs here.

Troll comes in, makes fool of himself, troll leaves. Troll hopefully comes back from time to time for good laughs by all.

Laughing so hard at 3:37 that I left the "not" off my can.

Joe decides to quit work, because it is just not fun. Joe decides to start having unprotected sex, reguardless of the consequences. Sex is fun, work is not. After 10 years, Joe has five bastard kids by five different women. Each of those women used to slave away like Joe, but figured if the government is going to continue to steal more of my money to provide more and more "services," why bust my ass when they will give me these things for free? So each woman has also quit their jobs and just party. In addition to Joe's kids, all these women have three to five kids of their own from different men. Joe and all the women go to the clinic from free treatment and healthcare. The workers at the clinic just got work that the government needs an additional 20% of their income taxes because there are so many "poor" people like Joe and his babbies mommas who just "can't" work. All the workers at the clinic decide that partying is a lot better than working, so they all quit their jobs and start applying for their cut of the welfare pie. Life is easier when someone else pays the bills. You don't have to listen to a boss and you can do whatever you want.

With 10 years, there is not enough money coming in so government projects stop. Sidewalks are trash, there is no health care, tech/medical research is now 100% in India and China, and there are mass urban riots in the US.

Moderate wakes up after long night at friend's birthday party. WIth a hangover, dmn it. Moderate reads blog. Moderate sees two rants by Conservative.

Moderate still has sleep in his eyes, but moderate knows incoherence when he sees it. Moderate tries to make sense of two long posts by Conservative.

Moderate chuckles to himself, knowing, in our great society, Conservative's vote unfortunately counts the same.

Moderate leaves to buy morning papers. Moderate is somewhat dizzy from the whirring sound of Conservative's rants.

Alka Selzter...yeah that's it. And perhaps a Bloody Mary! Where's the tobasco...?

08:36, you just described Bart Peterson's legacy.

Don't you "Bart Lies" people have anything else to do on a Sunday morning but troll my blog?

I know it's raining, but your candidate sure could use some help walking door to door or raising money or actually coming up with some ideas.

I love the first post; good story telling!

Joe didn't quit, his job was outsourced, privatized or sent to a foreign country by our illustrious governor!

"Joe didn't quit, his job was outsourced, privatized or sent to a foreign country by our illustrious governor!"

It wouldn't matter, even if Joe were able to keep his job, local government spending would jack his property taxes 25-200% per year. Eventually the government would force Joe to quit.

Hey, pal, the Local Government Is To Blame For Everything Talking Points are a little stale.

Try an honest assessment of the situation. It'll do wonders for you.

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