All I Wanna Do Is Have Some Fun: Parody As Self-Expression As Political Satire

MartiniA few weeks ago, one reader didn't think too much of this little TDW's rant about Raygan Swan's Ode To 21st Century "Reporting" (her pink-themed blog, which should make women doing serious journalism scratch their heads and wonder what they worked so hard for). In fact, this reader pretty much accused Ms. TDW of being a Raygan wanna-be.

Hee hee.

Anyway, politics is never as sexy as fashion advice, but we'll roll with it by providing TDW's response by parody to a recent "That's so Raygan" post about where the Colts players hang out in Indy on their off day.

A Close Encounter Of The Republican Kind: Where In The World You Can Find Key Members Of The Daniels Administration

Harry Gonso, chief of staff: Quenching his thirst at Champps after chasing his overweight Labrador Retriever through the streets of Meridian Hills.

Jane Jankowski, press secretary: Karaoking her namesake BNL song at the Front Page.

Mark Lubbers, outgoing political hack: On a barstool at the Red Key telling anyone who'll listen about the good ol' days at Conseco.

Mark Massa, general counsel: Body shots at the Ugly Monkey. (Mild-mannered lawyer by day, crazy party guy by night.)

Paul Mitchell, Office of Federal Grants and Procurement Coordinator: At a local salon hawking his new line of all-natural conditioning products and hair gels.

John Clark, senior advisor to the Governor: Trying to get free cocktails at Lulu's by telling people he's the new state GOP chair.

Phil Wickizer, junior associate counsel: At the Legal Beagle waiting for his promotion to "senior associate deputy assistant special counsel."

DISCLAIMER: If you think this is for real, you need to stop reading this site.

He's A Man, He's Just A Man: What's Next For Guv's Chief-Of-Hack?

Someone asked us to post a thread on what Mark Lubbers will do next, now that he's apparently been passed over for a couple jobs.

We don't like to disappoint our fans. It's not like we have that many.

Plus, this can be the place where you dump comments about newly nominated GOP chair Murray Clark. Another dual-purpose post. Have at it.

When At First You Don't Succeed, Call Dan Coats (Again)

CoatsmugAlthough he flopped before he could flip Harriet Miers into a conservative darling, the White House is going to give Dan Coats another chance to guide a Supreme Court candidate from nomination to the bench. 

Don't worry, Dan.  If the second time's not a charm for you, rest assured you can always come back to Indiana and get a few more contracts off your old buddies Mitch Daniels and Mark Lubbers.  There's plenty of gravy to go around, and from the contracts that have been reported to date, it would appear you've already sucked up $200,000 from the Governor's Office.  Nice work.

Aiming Higher, Or At Least At Some Point Slightly Above The Interest Level Of The Public

Wanna have some good, cheap fun?  Check out the listings of contributions and expenditures to Aiming Higher, Inc., the Governor's non-profit campaign fundraising arm.

Among the interesting things you'll learn:

Mark Lubbers, he of the $126,000 contract where none previously existed, received $16,000 for consulting services from Aiming Higher on January 14.  Does that bring his annual total up to $142,000?  That's some nice dough.

Then there's the ironically named "Indianapolis Rubber Stamp Co.", which received the paltry sum of $17.90 for inaugural expenses.  (Mitch needed a rubber stamp for the agenda he was about to force through the legislature?)

And there are several reimbursements to gubernatorial chief of staff Harry Gonso long after Daniels took office.  Wonder what those were for.  We may never know.

Guest Analysis: MarCo Guy Points Out Lubbers' Short Memory

In a very historically detailed e-mail to TDW, blog guest MarCo Guy reacted to a recent allegation by hack-on-contract Mark Lubbers that the last gubernatorial administration was the most corrupt in Indiana history.

MarCo points out that Lubbers should recall the antics that occurred under the watchful eye of the late Gov. Robert D. Orr, for whom Lubbers worked:

"Since Mark is personally familiar with the Orr  Administration, then we need only mention the names of two political associates of Bob Orr: State Schools Superintendent Harold Negley and State  Corrections Commissioner Gordon Faulkner (he of the golden-fauceted renovation of his residence at taxpayer expense, giving rise to the 'Golden Faucet' award occasionally still awarded by leaders of one party to candidates of the other party). And we'll mention this aspect of Orr's term as well: tax increases. Admittedly, the tax increases went to fund education improvements under the 'A+ Plan for Educational Excellence.' But there are many Hoosiers who think a tax increase is the worst mistake a political leader can make."

MarCo's point is well made but should not be misconstrued.  We're not interested, as they say, in getting into a pissing contest with a bunch of skunks. The point, rather, is to make it very clear that members of the current administration are far more interested in slashing and smashing the reputations of those who came before them than they are in making actual progress of their own.

Continue reading "Guest Analysis: MarCo Guy Points Out Lubbers' Short Memory" »

Interestingly Enough, That Matter Is No Longer On The Table For Public Discussion

Another complaint has been filed against former State Police Superintendent Mel Carraway, this time accusing him of destroying computer hard drives.  But what's most interesting about the story isn't the complaint itself.  It's this somewhat new stance on public disclosure from the Inspector General's office:

"Inspector General Dave Thomas refused to elaborate, noting that state ethics rule bar him from discussing the accusations."

Say it ain't so, Dave.  What'll Marky Mark do without his information pipeline?

Ohhhh, TDW understands.  You meant only that you can't share that information with the media.  But the ethics rules are really just guidelines when it comes to collusion with the executive branch.  Gotcha.

We're Not Laughing At You, Mark. We're Laughing Near You.

In the "News Of The Thin-Skinned" department, apparently Mark Lubbers today released an unpleasant statement in response to a press release from the state party about how he probably shouldn't be privy to ongoing investigations in the Inspector General's office.

He of the phat/fat government contract (we could all be so lucky to go from no payment to $126,000 a year) proclaimed the prior administrations horribly corrupt, unethical, awful, the worst of all time, etc. 

Note to Marky: No one picked up on this story until you threw a snit-fit.  And this ain't the smartest position to take now that it has become an issue:

"Mark Lubbers, meantime, says he has no firsthand knowledge that such an investigation exists, yet says it's obvious that it does."

Errrr.  Whazzah?

Other things that Lubbers probably complained about on Friday instead of, you know, doing his job:

  • Frank O'Bannon was too tall.
  • Democrats smell like cheese.
  • The media are mean.
  • Joe Kernan didn't turn in his TPS reports on time.
  • You brought me Equal instead of Splenda, intern.  You're fired!

Hey, Mark, here's one more message you can pass along to all your buddies in the Governor's Office, employees and contractors alike: You'd get more done during the day if you'd spend less time blaming your predecessors, accessing the state party's website and playing around on this blog and more time coming up with actual things your administration can hang its collective hat on.  That is, after all, why you were hired, right?  Unless there's a line-item in your contract that includes, "Screwing around on political websites using taxpayer-funded equipment."

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